You are head over heals in love with this guy. You have so much fun together; he is there for you when you need him. Maybe he even told you that he loves you, or really likes you, all the signs of a committed relationship are there – But he still won’t make it official.
This situation, you will probably agree with me, it both confusing and painful. If he cares for you, has so much fun with you, why won’t he commit? You invest everything in him – Your time, your support and your love, yet you always feel he is somewhat out of reach.
A million questions fill your head: What’s missing? Am I not good enough? Do I have to change my true identity? Do I have to start manipulating and pushing to get him to commit? Is he just using me for sex? How can I get him to commit??
You give him space, you keep silent, but the frustration and anger are building up, because you are not getting what you want (and deserve). The last think you want is another dead-end relationship.
What’s Holding Him Back?
These are painful thoughts, which tend to become obsessive. You start manipulating, trying different “strategies” you found online (or worse – girlfriends’ advice). You search everywhere for information about how to understand men.
I have never met a man who doesn’t have mental road blocks about commitment. Some have more, some have less, but sadly men find it harder to commit than women.
It doesn’t mean that they DON’T want to commit.
And you can get him to have an exclusive relationship with you, and even pop the question, without changing your true identity, without being pushy and without being manipulative.
How Can I Get Him to Commit? (3 Lies You’ve Told Over and Over)
There are a few really foolish myths about men and commitments out there. These lies are everywhere – Films, women’s magazines, girlfriends’ “experience”, low quality advice online – Everywhere. These are some of the most common lies you’ve been told why men won’t commit:
1. He is a commitment phobic. This has nothing to do with reality. There’s no “commitment phobia” gene in men. If you believe this, you can find yourself stuck with someone you give you heart to but get almost nothing in return, because you are convinced that “He just not able to commit to anyone”. That’s BS girl.
2. Something is wrong with me. I’m not enough for him. I don’t dress the way men like, I don’t talk the way men like, I have to change my self to be worthy of his commitment. This myth and lie, supported by women magazines “educating” you about the clothes men like, the perfumes they like, and how to become a woman that “pleases” men makes my blood boil.
What do men want in a woman? WHO CARES?? You deserve someone who loves you just the way you are. It’s a cliché because it’s true!
3. He just doesn’t love me enough. Love should be enough right? If he doesn’t commit, it means he doesn’t love me, or like me. Again, a big old lie.
The truth is, a man can be totally into you, and completely in love with you, but still be hesitant about a serious relationship. He needs something else to happen before he truly wants to make you his girlfriend, or his wife.
I think you deserve to know the truth, the one thing that’s holding you back from having the intimate and committed relationship that you deserve.
Since I’m not a man, and I can’t read men’s mind (no woman can), I suggest you hear the truth from a man. Not just any man,the author of a best-selling book (“The magic of making up”), who is a former “commitment phobic” and now happily married for 16 years. T.W Jackson decided to spill his guts and he does it in such a clear and fun way, that for the first time in my life I really understand what is going on in men’s mind.
He created this video, full of golden bits of advice, it’s completely free and you don’t have to buy anything. It’s the best advice I’ve heard in a while (and I’ve heard plenty). Again – the video is HERE.
Rooting for ya,
PAID ENDORSEMENT DISCLOSURE: In order for me to support my blogging activities, I may receive monetary compensation or other types of remuneration for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial and/or link to any products or services from this blog.